Love Again Read online

  LOVE AGAIN

  Paula Mowery

  Copyright 2015 Paula Mowery

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

  Cover Art by Joan Alley

  Edited by Susan M. Baganz

  This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are the product of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously.

  Smashwords Edition, License Notes

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Published by Prism Book Group

  First Edition, 2015

  ISBN-10: 1943104263

  ISBN-13: 978-1-943104-26-0

  Published in the United States of America

  Contact info: [email protected]

  http://www.prismbookgroup.com

  All Scripture is from the New International Version (1984)

  CHAPTER ONE

  Ben Jacobsen crouched in the sandy dirt outside the latest building his unit needed to clear. Busting through the door, he and his unit stood in an abandoned room containing only a dusty table and two broken chairs. He released the breath he held. Turning to leave, he halted as his wife’s face flashed on the screen of his mind. Stay focused.

  Of course, he’d returned to Al Asad Airbase for this third tour of duty just three days ago. Still, he relived and longed for the time he had spent at home with Alyssa. She’d proved to be the real hero, holding down the fort at home on the base in California with two kids.

  He smiled, recalling her strategy for making up for what he’d missed while away. His whole furlough had been filled with celebrations. Avery’s fourth birthday, Dakota’s eighth, and their tenth wedding anniversary.

  Back at his living quarters, he prepared for supper, still unable to clear Alyssa’s face from his head. He ambled into the dining hall and absentmindedly accepted the offered tray of food. He plopped down in a seat and immediately bowed his head in prayer, thanking God for safety today for himself and his unit. He added a plea for strength to complete this tour. Homesickness proved overwhelming. His head raised and eyes opened to Captain Kilgore standing near.

  “May I?” The captain indicated the seat across from Ben.

  “Sure.” As he picked up his fork, the captain still sat unmoving, staring straight into his eyes.

  “Ben…” Captain Kilgore’s voice trailed off. He blinked as if to stave off tears.

  Ben sat up straight and replaced his fork. “Sir?” Could something be wrong with one of the men? He counted today’s maneuvers as successes with no incidents, only safe soldiers.

  Captain Kilgore cleared his throat and shoved his tray of food to the side, leaning closer. Whatever he was trying to say must have been somewhat confidential. Ben gave his undivided attention. “Ben, I don’t know how to…”

  “Captain, please just tell me what’s happened.”

  “I received word that your wife, Alyssa, has been killed in a car accident. Ben, I’m so sorry.”

  Ben closed his eyes and tried to breathe past the ache in his chest. His head shook in disbelief. He’d just seen her. He swallowed at the lump forming in his throat and looked into the captain’s eyes. “Are you sure?”

  “I’m afraid so.”

  “I have to go home. My kids...”

  “Of course.”

  “If you’ll excuse me.” He stood, needing to get alone.

  Captain Kilgore rose and grabbed his arm. “If you need anything…”

  Ben managed a nod. He practically sprinted to his quarters and dove into this cot, burying his face in his hands. Sobs burst forth. “Alyssa.” Every part of his body ached with despair. His heart hurt most of all, broken into a million pieces at the loss of his first and only love.

  This wasn’t the way this was to play out. Alyssa and the kids were always tucked away in safety in the United States. If anything were to happen, it should have been him. He was in the war zones. The irony wrenched his chest.

  * * *

  Jenna’s stomach fluttered, and her pulse raced. She read the letter again and held it to her chest. What an opportunity. But Peter would never allow her to consider it. She sighed with defeat.

  “Love letter?”

  She jumped at her mother’s voice.

  “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you, dear.”

  Jenna shrugged. “That’s okay. I was lost in La-la Land.” She refolded the letter and stuffed it into its envelope.

  “So, it is a love letter.” Her mother’s brows rose.

  She chuckled. “Nope. It’s a job offer.”

  Her mother pulled out a chair and joined her at the small kitchen table. “Ooooh, do tell.”

  Jenna stared at the envelope. “It’s for a children’s minister position.” Her eyes shifted to her mother’s. “In Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.”

  “Mm, so what do you think?”

  She shook her head. “Peter would freak out if I even considered it for a moment.”

  “From what I saw when I came in, you had already considered it for a moment. From the expression on your face, the thought was favorable.”

  She sighed. “It’s a flattering offer, but…”

  “Have you prayed about it?”

  “No need.”

  “Excuse me? No need to pray?” Her mother crossed her arms dramatically over her chest.

  “That’s not what I meant, Mom. It’s just…it wouldn’t work.”

  “Well, if there’s one thing I’ve learned about ministry, it’s don’t underestimate what adventure God might have in store.”

  “I will pray.” She flashed a smile in her mom’s direction, trying to look convincing.

  As she rose from the table and headed toward her room downstairs, she allowed herself to dream a bit. What would it be like to go off on an adventure on her own?

  Her time in Lynchburg had proved exciting as well as educational. Liberty University afforded the atmosphere she needed to learn and grow closer to God. Her roommate, Shawna, turned out to be the perfect match for a true sister in Christ.

  The position in Myrtle Beach aligned perfectly with her goals and abilities in children’s ministry. But Peter would never allow her this opportunity. He’d bucked her every step of the way when deciding to go to Lynchburg. She was sure he had only allowed her to go because there was an end to the schooling and a promise to return after graduation.

  She crammed the envelope into the drawer of her bedside table. She couldn’t bring herself to the point of throwing it away. Maybe something inside her still held out an existing chance.

  She chose to pray as her mother suggested. Should she pray for God’s direction or for His help to forget about the offer?

  * * *

  Ben stared out the window of the plane. Captain Kilgore had arranged his departure from Iraq in short order. In a few moments, he would reunite with his two children and his parents. He swallowed hard and bit back tears at the realization that his wife would be absent from the reunion.

  As the plane taxied to the gate, he took in deep breaths to calm his raw emotions. He wanted to fight against breaking down in front of the kids. Especially Avery. At only four years old, she might become frightened if her father displayed anything other than strength. It would be a fight. He stood and draped the handle of his bag over his shoulder. As he strolled down the corridor, a man walked up beside him and patted his back. “Thanks for yo
ur service, soldier.”

  Ben nodded at the man, having forgotten his military attire. A moment of pride swelled his chest. Being appreciated for his sacrifice never got old.

  He strained his eyes as he neared the walkway’s end. Rounding the corner, he caught sight of little Avery jumping up and down, two blonde pigtails bobbing. When her eyes met his, she broke loose from her grandmother and sprinted his way. “Daddy!” She grabbed his legs and squeezed.

  He reached down and scooped her up into his arms which she rewarded by hugging his neck. “How’s my girl?” He forced a smile even as tears threatened.

  A squeeze around his waist distracted him and he reached down to tousle Dakota’s hair. “Hey, Buddy.”

  He shifted the reunion further from the gate’s entrance and nearer to his parents. His mother embraced him, and upon stepping back, turned to the side, swiping at tears.

  His father gave him a side hug. “Son.” His voice was low and full of emotion.

  “Thank you for…” He started to say for taking care of his children until he could get back, but that statement hurt too much. “Thank you for bringing them.”

  An understanding expression spread across his father’s face, and he gave Ben a nod. “How about we get you home?”

  They walked toward the parking lot with Avery still clinging to his neck and Dakota grasping his hand with both of his. Though he held his children and headed for home, his heart ached with a hollow area only Alyssa filled. Her death left a hole in his heart and his life. Could it ever be repaired?

  * * *

  Jenna’s cell phone rang as she left church. On her way to her car, she flipped it open to a familiar name. “Shawna, hey, how are you?”

  “So, did you get it?” The excitement in her voice was evident even over the phone.

  “Did I get what?”

  “The letter. The job offer.”

  “Um, I did get a job offer.” Suddenly it occurred to her that Shawna lived in Myrtle Beach. “Okay. I’m a little slow. I hadn’t connected the dots.” Jenna smacked her forehead lightly with the realization.

  “I figured as much since you hadn’t called. So?”

  “Well, I …”

  “Jenna.” She whined her name. “Come on. This position couldn’t be more suited to you if you had written it for yourself.”

  “But Peter’s not gonna go for it.”

  “They didn’t offer him a position. They offered it to you.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean.”

  “You just rolled your eyes at me, didn’t you?”

  Jenna laughed. “You know me.”

  “Did you pray about this?”

  “Now you sound like my mother.”

  “Promise me you’ll pray about this.”

  “Okay, okay. I will.”

  She prayed all the way home with the scriptures she had read this morning during her quiet time still resonating in her brain. Did everything point to her accepting the job offer or was it wishful thinking?

  She glanced at the clock on her bedside table. Six o’clock already. Peter would be here in an hour to pick her up for dinner out. She ran through the shower and donned a simple sundress. The East Tennessee summer had proved a scorcher this year with humidity levels close to the temperatures.

  At precisely seven, a knock sounded at her basement entrance. She opened the door to Peter’s pointing finger. Looking past it, the reason became apparent. His cell phone was pressed to his ear, and he was deep in conversation. His gaze connected with hers, and he motioned for her to follow him to the car.

  He finally extracted the phone from his ear, ending the call as he put the car in park at their usual restaurant. He glanced her way. “You did want Mexican, right?”

  She shrugged. “That’s fine.”

  They sat across from each other in a booth toward the back of the establishment. Peter rested his elbows on the table and leaned toward her. “What’s new?”

  A sudden heat rushed up her neck. “Um…well, I did get a job offer.”

  His brows rose. “Really?”

  Just as she started to explain, his phone rang. He glanced at the name. “Hold that thought. I better take this.”

  Their food arrived, and she ate as if dining alone. Is this what she had to look forward to? Would she ever be enough of a priority to make him ignore that phone?

  CHAPTER TWO

  Ben sat at the small desk in the bedroom he’d shared with Alyssa. He scrolled through picture after picture on the computer. So few of Alyssa, since she usually took on the family photographer role. The funeral director needed photos for the video they would show during the hours of receiving friends.

  The kids had been in bed for two hours, and his parents had gone to a nearby hotel until the next morning. He should get to bed, but the thought of lying there without her beside him prevented him from turning in.

  He shut down the computer. The collection of pictures on the disk would need to suffice. A tightness gripped his chest at each glance of her light brown hair or her blue-green eyes. No more. He shoved the disk into a paper sleeve and carried it to the living room, throwing it onto the bar leading into the kitchen. Plopping into his recliner, he laid his head back and closed his eyes, hoping sheer exhaustion would bring some semblance of sleep.

  “Mommy! Mommy!”

  Ben jolted from sleep.

  “Mommy!”

  He jumped to his feet and sprinted to Dakota’s room. His son sat up in his bed with wild eyes. As Ben eased onto the edge of the bed, Dakota practically leapt into his arms. He embraced him, rubbing down his head and back. “It’s all right, buddy. Daddy’s here.”

  The little boy’s body trembled. “She’s not coming back, is she?”

  Oh, how he wanted to tell him Mommy would be back. “No, son, she isn’t.”

  Dakota pushed back and peered into his daddy’s eyes. “Who’ll take care of me and Avery now?”

  “I will.”

  “But…when you go away again. What about then?”

  “I’m not going away again. I’ll be right here.”

  Dakota laid his head on his daddy’s chest and let out a heavy sigh. When his body went limp, Ben eased back on the twin bed, leaving him on his chest.

  That answered one question. No more Marines. His children needed him. Many more questions needed answering. Where would they live? What work would he find? Without his partner to help, how would he make so many critical decisions? He needed divine guidance fast.

  * * *

  “I’m sure the offer was good for your ego,” Peter said.

  “What do you mean?” Jenna eyed him.

  He glanced at her and turned back toward the road when the light flashed green. “Getting a good job offer can be encouraging even if you never consider accepting it.”

  She heaved in a deep breath to calm her tone. “So, you assume I’m not considering it?” She deliberately shifted and stared at his profile.

  “Well, yeah. You don’t have a reason to consider it.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “Really.”

  “Of course. In fact, after we’re married, you won’t have to worry about working any longer.” He stopped the car in her driveway and turned her way. His proud smile irritated her.

  “What if God calls me to continue working in ministry even after we’re married?” She ground her teeth, glaring at him as she awaited his reply.

  His brow wrinkled and an expression of confusion came across his face. “But there’s no need. My salary can support both of us comfortably.”

  “There’s a need if it’s what God wants me to do.” She spoke each word through gritted teeth.

  He rolled his eyes and sighed. “Aw, come on, babe.” He reached for her, but she backed away, fixing her gaze directly into his eyes.

  “For your information, I’m praying about the job offer, and so far, everything has pointed toward accepting.”

  His eyes widened, and his lower jaw droppe
d.

  “Being with you has further confirmed it.” She opened her car door and stepped out.

  “But, Jenna…”

  “Goodnight,” she said flatly, slamming the door.

  She trotted to her basement entrance, unlocked the door, and stepped inside, slamming that door too.

  How self-centered and pompous could a man be?

  Accepting the job and moving to Myrtle Beach meant ending her relationship with Peter Callahan. That thought should have brought regret, but she’d never experienced more freedom or excitement.

  She rushed to her bedside table, pulled the drawer open, and grabbed the letter staring up at her. Sparks of anticipation flowed up her spine. “Okay, God. Let’s do this,” she said aloud.

  * * *

  Ben jolted from sleep and slid gently out of Dakota’s bed. He tiptoed to his recliner, plopped down, and rubbed his eyes. A quick glance at the clock on the side wall revealed an early six a.m. His dream had seemed so real. He and the kids stood on the light sand of his hometown, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

  He heaved a heavy sigh. As soon as his parents arrived this morning, he would share his decision. They would be pleased. No other option made sense. Time to go home.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Jenna’s GPS led her straight to Shawna’s apartment in North Myrtle Beach. Shawna bounded down the sidewalk and practically knocked Jenna down as she stepped from her car.

  “I’m so excited you’re here. I can’t believe I get my roomie back again.”

  Jenna need not worry that she intruded on her friend with a greeting like that. “I know. I can’t believe how this has worked out.”

  Shawna punched her arm lightly. “That’s how God works, girl. Come on in. I’ve got an ice-cold Diet Dr. Pepper with your name on it.”

  “Oooh, that sounds great.” She followed her friend to the second floor and into the apartment they would now share.

  “By the way, your bedroom furniture was delivered yesterday. I wasn’t sure exactly where you wanted everything.” Shawna stepped into the small kitchen and handed a drink through the opening into the living room.

  Jenna popped the top and gulped the cool liquid. The bubbles burned a bit on the way down. “Ah. I needed that.”